Reconnecting to My Roots
Every morning before work, I watch my father perform chants to a small Buddha shrine, praying for fortune. My mother keeps a golden talisman around her neck to ward off evil spirits. Buddhism surrounds and plays a significant role in my household. As the pandemic has continued to challenge me, I have fallen deeper into my religion. The pandemic has forced me to be more stagnant and reflect upon my own place as an immigrant in society.
A small Thai Buddha statue is kept outside with the flowers.
One hot Sunday morning before work, my brother and I attended wat, which is more commonly known as a temple in the U.S. Our Wat is located in Bensalem Pennsylvania, a three-hour drive away from where we live. There’s not a large Buddhist or Thai community in New Jersey, so finding an authentic wat was difficult. The last time I attended wat was when I was 15 for a blessing. After so many years, I made the decision to attend because the pandemic forced me to reflect on myself and the world, allowing me to be more open to spirituality.
When I arrived at the Wat, I immediately felt nostalgic, not just to the age of 15, but to when my family and I lived in Thailand. The heat, the architecture, and everyone speaking Thai brought me back to my roots. The red and gold of the building were gorgeous, and the gold on everything brought it together. Large speakers had been set up outside of the Wat so worshippers could listen to the service and promote social distance. A small market was set up in the parking lot of the wat where vendors sold traditional Thai foods and desserts. I purchased sticky rice cooked in bamboo and a dessert called lod chong nam ka ti, a coconut milk soup with tapioca noodles served cold.
Traditional Thai food and spices, packaged.
Sweet black sticky rice, cooked in bamboo, sold by a vendor at the wat.
Thai traditional greetings and interactions are well suited to a time of social distancing. The Thai people are more considerate of personal space compared to Americans. Instead of handshakes or hugs, Thai people greet one another with a wai, a slight bow and arched hands at a distance. At the wat, monks cannot physically interact with women. These customs are a significant change from how I normally interact with people in my day to day life.
As my brother talked with the merchants in Thai I thought about how significant these exchanges were. It was more than just a customer and merchant transaction, they each felt more connected and at home speaking Thai to one another. The exchange of language and wai is significant in keeping our culture alive in the U.S. To me, keeping Thai culture alive in the U.S is important now because oftentimes growing up as an immigrant I felt I should reject my own culture if I was to adapt to the American lifestyle. As an adult, I learned where I came from and that culture is important in understanding myself because it is a part of who I am.
I wasn’t able to stay for the full service, however, being there with my first culture gave me a greater understanding of my place in the U.S. as a Thai immigrant. One of the feelings not talked about as an undocumented immigrant is the feeling of belonging to a culture. Growing up I felt I didn’t belong as an American because I was undocumented, and growing up in an English-speaking, non-Thai environment, I felt as if I wasn’t Thai enough. Going to wat helped me understand that I hold both cultures.
