Pandemic Poetry

Tosin Adebayo • 18 •Newark, NJ

Ode to the Old Days

 

I dream
I dream of the days that are no more
The days that I swore I hated 

The breeze that pricked my skin
The slight burn of heat creeping down my neck
Warming me up, from the treacherous winter cold
The crunching under my feet does little to stop the crippling anxiety of slipping on ice
The grass was no more than a thin sheet of white paper
My naked hands turning blue
I swore I hated it all

The walks into the prison (school)
The security check that continued to petrify me, knowing I had nothing but my mind telling me I did
The marble floored hallways
I swore I hated them

Waving good morning to my nurse
Entering into the lunch room
Spotting my crew and feeling better about coming
I swore I hated it all

The thick binders that dragged me down
The teacher adding even more pages into said binder
The “brain breaks” during double period classes
The student intern that found every reason to come sit at my table
I swore I hated it all

The disgusting cold sandwiches drowned in mustard
The fight to get in first for the hot food lunches
I really swore I hated that one

The last period class filled with class discussions
Vulnerability
Peace
And Understanding

Ahh, no, I loved that one

The walk back home with my friends
Stopping at the corner store
Maybe getting a sandwich, or cookies or gushers
It depended on how much I had 
Cracking jokes at each other
Talking about our day and failed tests
I swear I hated it

Walking into South Orange
Going to the family owned Chinese food restaurant
Then off to Starbucks for a mocha cookie crumble, with 7 mocha pumps
Then over to Coldstone for a cookie lovers ice cream
Knowing pretty darn well I was lactose intolerant
I swore I hated it all

But now it’s all just a distant dream 
That I want so badly to never wake up from
But I know that I’ve already awoken
And now reality hits
I must say goodbye to life that I thought I knew
And enter into the new normal
One where 6 feet determines our ability to keep friends
And face to face means chatting over a dense computer screen
I swore I hated it,
I really did,
So why does saying goodbye hurt now?


NATAVIA WILLIAMS • 18 • Newark, NJ

Year 2020

unnamed.jpg

This Year was terrible
I Don't believe
Life will change for the better
viruses,
Hurricanes,
Injustices,
Killer Hornets,
those
Without 
A future 
We Have
People
dead.
We’re not 
Living 
We are still
Trapped home but,
Safe but bored
We are
To lose hope.
Time 
It isn’t 
Helpful
And 
Days are endless
Realize 
All you can do is
Binge Shows, 
Do hobbies,
Create,
Think,
Work,
It’s time
to be useful 
We don’t have
The cure
We are it

Re-read from bottom to top



NYASIA MCNEIL • 18 • NEWARK, NJ

You Are Enough

 

Back in the day when speaking on your mental health was a crime
It felt unjustified to express your piece of mind 
They told you to keep it in, but you can’t hide 
You can’t keep confiding in your head
This burden you hold must be struck dead 
It’s heavy 
The wound is too deep
You cry yourself to sleep
Then you question 

ARE YOU ENOUGH?

There will still be a negative stigma around this topic 
Some just don't understand 
Sometimes music and meds are just not enough 
Sometimes asking for a hug or giving a smile can be tough 

YOU ARE ENOUGH 

Today society has overcome the frightening barriers that once were
Instead of belittling the ones who suffer 
We uplift, we love
We have each other
Remember your feelings are valid 
It’s okay to share your pain 
It’s okay to sit back and reflect 
Enjoy the time you have 

YOU ARE ENOUGH 


ELIJAH MAY DESROSIERS • 17 • Newark, NJ

Ode to My Vision Board and Craft

 

I can recall creating my 2020 vision board,
Wishes being whispered with each breath,
The word “manifestation” being passed around like free candy,
Open glue sticks and scissors spread out on our wooden floor,
The bass of K-Pop songs ringing through my ears as scraps of paper were drenched in glue,
Glares of motivation being exchanged between my mother and I.

Today,
Procrastination stains the air as I feel the same emotions everyday,
Laziness, fatigue, and yearning. 
No auditions,
No bookings,
Just me staring at my vision board on the wall. 
A slice of cardboard with posters that put my dreams on display,
A yearning to see young faces in the cold waiting room at auditions,
A yearning to wipe the anxiety-caused sweat off my brow 
As I critique my performance in the elevator.

2020 was the year when I came to a realization,
A realization that put a label on my laziness
And my procrastination.

“Elijah! You should come check out these acting classes.”
The familiar voice that belongs to my mother 
Rang throughout the hallway.

While I felt the deep beating of happiness 
Within my heart, 
Anxiety and unfamiliarity flowed through my body.
The same anxiety and unfamiliarity that
Evaporated from my body
As soon my finger clicked the mousepad 
And led me to the “Join” button.

My natural habitat.
The friendly faces of strangers who are just like me
All of their talent limited to boxes next to the 
Illegible pdf of a monologue downloaded in a new tab.
A sigh left my lips, 
Knowing that the emotions I had felt
Were no longer existent.
At this moment, 
My heart and my head were on the same page,
Both wanting the same thing.

I’ve come to notice 
That setbacks come in different forms
And at different times, 
Like a tide of waves pulling back from the sand. 
The procrastination and laziness returned
in the midst of long summer days.
This setback doesn’t have to last for eternity, 
Although it may seem like that.
Working through this time period 
As if I am making dough from scratch 
Is exactly what will teleport me into the dimension of 
My craft. 

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