Doubly Isolated

Sunrise on my street. Normally, there would be some traffic because people are heading to work. I’m a night owl and do not usually go to sleep until 5-7AM. 

Although I enjoy time spent indoors, home is not somewhere I like to be. I do not live in a comfortable home. On campus, I can easily maneuver and ask for help but at home, I am restricted. Although I assume most people are shut in their rooms, just as I am, I do not share a home where I am comfortable leaving my room. I often wait until my family goes to sleep in order to leave for a snack or to eat something. 

The pandemic does, however, have some benefits. The only kind of exposure I get is the window in my room that faces the street but the sunlight that brings life into my room in the evening before sunset is refreshing. When most individuals are inside, it is peaceful and puts me at ease. It has allowed me to work on myself and better myself, even if it's just a little, and I’m learning how to take one thing at a time. I realized that in being a college student, I have things I need to prioritize, and I have gotten a better grip on planning my daily schedule, however, on most days it seemed like as soon as I began my day, it was over. I felt like I was watching my days pass me by and I didn’t have time for anything. It sucked the energy out of me. With the pandemic, I have been able to pay more attention to myself. The time I used to take to walk to a building or prepare before a class, I can now use for myself. I don’t have to wait for the evening to come to get personal tasks done. I have been trying to read more and I decided to get back to learning a new language. What keeps me going the most is drawing. It is my way of self-expression, along with writing. I have come to learn to work on my skills for myself and not for others.

I think this might represent what I feel every day. A prisoner in my own home.

It has been raining a lot recently; I find the rain very relaxing.